


The Lone Traveler in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

by Dunuelos



Series: Harry Potter, Lone Traveler [27]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 19:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20263216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dunuelos/pseuds/Dunuelos
Summary: The Lone Traveler visits a galaxy far, far away and runs into his ultimate boss. He wonders why everyone is looking at God as though he was a bomb waiting to explode.





	1. In a Galaxy Far Far Away

A/N: This is meant to be mostly humor. It grew from an idea I had at the end of the Lone Traveler Arcadia arc.

* * *

Harry made his way into the local bar. He thought he recognized this bar from somewhere but it had been a long time ago. He hoped they took Galleons – cause that's all he had.

Harry made his way over toward the bar. There were people around of all types. It was obvious that this wasn't Earth – at least not Earth of his time. Earth didn't have aliens of all shapes, sizes, and colors. There were a few humans around the edge, he noted.

As he moved to stand next to the bar, he was bumped. He turned and there was an alien snarling in its own language at him, kind of looking like an upright boar – tusks and all. He said, "Excuse me."

Another alien, a bit more humanoid but still looking like he was related to a boar, said, "He doesn't like you."

Harry shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"I don't like you."

"I'm sorry about that too."

"You better watch out! I have Death Warrants in twelve systems! If …"

Before the man could continue, there was a disturbance in the crowd. The three turned and saw that there was a path being made.

Harry recognized the teenager making the ruckus. He sighed. "Hello, Boss."

The beligerant Alien looked at him in horror. "You work for him? For one of those?"

Harry shrugged. "Well … yeah."

The Alien was all of a sudden far less beligerant and obnoxious. "Oh! Well, we're sorry for bumping you and for taking your time." The two aliens then quickly rushed away.

Harry turned to Goth Boy God. "What was that all about?"

God shrugged. "Hello, Harry."

"Hey, Boss. Want something?"

"Water."

Harry turned to the barman who was now standing respectfully waiting for their order. "Two waters." Harry dropped a Galleon on the bar.

The barman nodded in a servile fashion. "Yes, Sir. Right away, Sir!"

The two received their water and then made their way to an unoccupied booth. The crowd, once again, made room for them to pass – acting very nervous.

"Is that a new piercing?" Harry asked curiously, pointing to the nose on the deity's face.

God shrugged and smirked. "I haven't decided if I wanted to get a bigger one yet."

The people around him, who were nervously trying to overhear, moved even further away at that.

"So, what do you want me to do?"

"In about half an hour, an older man and a boy around Joan's age will be riding in to town. I want you to help them to arrange a meeting with those two." He pointed toward a man at another table that had a tall figure next to him, covered in hair.

The two he pointed at looked nervous by being noticed by the teenager dressed as a Goth.

Suddenly, Harry remembered. "Wait! Am I where I think I am?" God smirked and nodded. Harry grinned. "Ooooh! This is going to be fun!"

God smirked and said, "We'll be coming with them – for at least the original part of the trip."

Harry was excited. He had been to one of these universes.

The two got up and went over to the man and the Wookie. "I heard you have a ship," Harry grinned at the human.

"Uh. Yeah."

"We have a commission for you – some up front and some when we get there. My boss here told me you could help."

The man looked resigned and the Wookie howled – quietly.

Harry looked around and saw the bounty hunter who would have accosted Han Solo waiting in the wings. Noting that EVERYONE in the bar was nervous at the sight of this incarnation of God, he felt a sudden impulse – he WAS the son of a Marauder after all.

He called out loudly to the onlookers, "Me and my boss will be doing some business with these two. I hope that doesn't inconvenience anyone?"

There were a lot of "No" and "Of course not!" and other sentiments expressed by the bystanders. God just smirked.

The bounty hunter had been one of those to express this. He soon rushed out to get word to Jabba – Han Solo was now working for one of _those_. It was probably best to just let things _go_. Han Solo had far more to worry about than an annoyed Hutt.

Harry looked at Han and said, "Why don't you have your friend get your ship ready? We have to go get the group that's going with us. Will that work?"

Han did not hesitate to agree. "Chewie. Go get the ship ready." Chewbacca, mighty Wookie and veteran of the Clone Wars, did not protest ... at all.

The four made their way out, once again being given wide berth.

The alien who sat around the bar soaking up information to sell decided that certain things should just be kept to oneself. It didn't pay to get involved when one of _those_ was also involved.

When the stormtroopers came in an hour later to make inquiries, he kept his mouth _shut_.

Harry asked God, "Can you tell me where they're planning on selling their speeder?"

God pointed to a lot down the road. Harry grinned. "Why don't we go and tell the proprietor that it's coming and we hope that he will give a good price for it. Then you can go meet up with Chewbacca. You seem to attract a lot of attention."

God nodded.

The dealer was very quick to agree to give their friends as good a price as he could. God walked away and the dealer was suddenly far less nervous. He asked Harry, "How did you come to be working for_Him_?"

Harry shrugged and grinned. "He convinced me that it was better that I do certain jobs. I get well-rewarded."

The dealer shrugged. He had heard of the planet where the natives dressed like that. The _rewards_ they gave out were nothing he wanted anything to do with. There was a reason why even the new Empire stayed well away from _that_ system.

* * *

Obi-wan Kenobi – Old Ben to his new charge – went over to the landspeeder dealer. He would have to use all of his negotiating skills to get a price sufficient enough to book passage.

So, with confidence, he addressed the man … well, alien, but a man nonetheless.

"Hello. I hear that you buy landspeeders."

The man looked over at another man, who seemed to be just sitting there. That man gave a small nod. The dealer turned back to Ben. "5000 credits. No questions. I don't want to know."

Obi-wan was shocked. He had expected to dicker with the creature and maybe get a couple thousand at most. "Done."

The dealer rushed to get the credits and the other man walked over. Obi-wan was wary – but through the force he could feel no darkness. "Hello. How are you today?"

The man grinned. "I'm well. My boss told me that there would be a man and boy needing some help. I've made a arrangements."

"Oh? And how do you know that I am the right man?"

The man paused. "Long story." Another pause. "Let's just say that we've agreed that you need to be kept away from," and he glanced over at a group of stormtroopers who were stopping vehicles, "_Imperial_entanglements."

Obi-wan Kenobi was a suspicious person – his past had assured that. But he _felt_ that this was right. Obi-wan HAD been a Jedi – and he was trained to follow the Force.

"That sounds excellent. You know of a ship that till allow us passage?"

The man nodded and pointed to another man who was standing on the other side of the lot. "His Exec is getting the ship warmed up and ready. My boss is with him." Obi-Wan nodded. "By the way, Harry Potter." Harry reached his hand out and Obi-Wan shook it. "The ship's owner is Han Solo. His assistant is a wookie named Chewbacca – Chewy."

Before Obi-Wan could respond, the dealer returned. It was a matter of a few minutes to get the deal finished. The two men, followed by the teenager, turned to join Han. "And you will be called Old Ben_Kingley_. And your student will be Luke _Himmel _– shortened from Himmelwunder. On my planet that means Wanderer of the Sky – no need to draw attention by using such a well known name, you know?"

Obi-wan looked piercingly at Harry. "You know who he is?"

Harry nodded and grinned again – he looked to be enjoying himself. "Oh, you'd be _amazed_ at what I know. And my _boss_ knows everything. He's the one who directed me into your path."

The old Jedi didn't know what to make of that. But, they appeared to be trying to keep the Imperials away so he would accept it – and be ready in case there was treachery.

* * *

The four men (one barely so) and two droids approached the ship. Han was expansive – he loved his ship. "This is the Millenium Falcon. Fastest ship in the quadrant. It made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs."

Ben murmured, "Impressive."

Han went the gangplank and called up. "Chewy! They're here!"

A howl was heard from the ship. Luke was startled and looked nervously at Ben. Ben just nodded his head calmly – wookies were good people.

The group made its way up. "Okay. This is Chewbacca. Let's talk price."

Harry interrupted before Ben could say anything. "4000 now. 15,000 when we get there – maybe more if you stick around and help with a few jobs."

Han thought about it. "Where are we going?"

Ben spoke up. "Alderan."

After a moment, Han said, "20,000 when we get there."

Harry shook his head. "16. That will make 20 total. I think my boss will find that acceptable."

Han looked toward the back where he knew Harry's boss was. "Done."

Chewbacca then growled a few things at Han. Han looked confused for a moment and then turned to Harry. "You boss said you'd do some quick repair work before we left?"

Harry was startled. He seemed to remember that the Falcon had odd issues at odd times.

Chewbacca let out a few more sounds. Han translated. "And to tell you that the droids are hardened too."

"Ah." He looked at the two who ran the ship. "Who knows the ship better – visually? Not specs but the actual way it's supposed to look?"

Han and Chewy looked at each other – they had been working together so long they could speak with a glance. Han turned back. "That'd be Chewy."

Harry nodded. "Why don't all the rest of you except Chewy join my boss."

Luke was curious. "What are you going to do?"

Harry turned and with one of his grins he said, "Let's just say that with the Force – all things are possible."

For the first time in many years, Old Ben felt out of his depth.

The group moved down the passage after C3PO agreed to shut down as soon as they were situated.

When they had disappeared, Harry turned to Chewbacca. "Can you think of the ship and all of its circuits and parts? I'm going to use a force technique to read your mind so that I know the basic structure as well. But I need you to concentrate on it."

Chewy gave a noise sounding confused. "It's too hard to explain. Just go with it. It won't hurt."

Finally Chewy nodded. Harry pulled his wand out and cast the Legimens spell.

After about five minutes, Harry had the imagery necessary. "Okay. Go join the others."

Chewy nodded.

Harry deliberately pulled in as much magic as possible and then performed the spell: _Reparo_!

* * *

Obi-wan – Ben – was considering the creature before him. He hadn't expected THIS when he had gotten up this morning.

"And what is Harry doing anyway?"

Gothboy God (GBG) looked at Ben with a smirk. "He's taking care of some minor issues. You'll see."

Suddenly Ben felt a massive disturbance in the force. Even Luke started looking around as he asked, "What's THAT?"

Ben looked at GBG. "I think that's Harry."

Suddenly, a number of imperfections around the room they were in shuddered – and suddenly the room looked much less worn down.

Han, hearing all the noise, was now worried. "What in the name of the creation is he doing?"

GBG just said, "Wait. As soon as he's done in about two klekkets, we're going to need to lift off as soon as possible."

Han waited for the prescribed time and then grabbed Chewy to get the ship off the ground.

* * *

Darth Vader was frustrated. As he listened to reports coming in regarding the search, he noticed a distinct lack of progress. He KNEW they would come here. He had FELT it. But there were no signs.

Suddenly, he felt a massive build up of the Force on the other side of the city. He knew Tatooine and this town. THAT was at the spaceport. He barked to the unit commanders around them. "Come with me!"

The two hours it took to find details would prove costly.

* * *

Han checked his instruments as he listened to Chewbacca. "I don't KNOW. I would have expected the hyperdrive to be touchier but it's running as smooth as Dramassian silk.

He listened to Chewy explain what he saw. "And he just waved a stick?" Chewy yowled in agreement. "Wow. I guess it's a good thing that we didn't say no to this job. It's going to save us a ton of credits in parts. It would have been worth it just for that."

Chewy growled a question and Han looked at his second with his classic grin. "No. I'll still take the money. What do you take me for? Some do-gooder?"

* * *

Ben was teaching Luke about the Force. After being assured that GBG was NOT going to be unspeakable things to them (_those_ people did perform unspeakable acts regularly), Ben had started taking steps.

Harry was in a quiet conversation with God. R2, fortunately or unfortunately, overheard something which told R2 exactly WHO the oddly dressed teen was.

Harry looked over. "Should we be worried?"

GBG shook his head. "R2 knows how to keep a secret. He's been doing it for fifty years. Right, R2?"

R2 beeped a clicked. GBG nodded. "See? There you go."

Harry shook his head. "You know that I didn't understand that, right?"

GBG shrugged. "I did."

Harry gave GBG a look. "Of course you did. You're you!"

God just gave one of his small smiles.

"Anyway, so the message should be what?"

* * *

The Death Star appeared at the edge of the Alderan system. Grand Moff Tarkin spoke to his companion. "You haven't gotten anything from her. It's time to let me try."

Vader nodded in agreement – even though he despised the man, technically he was in charge here.

So, Leia Organa was retrieved from the holding cell so that she could witness where they were.

Tarkin turned. "Now. You have been uncooperative with Lord Vader's simple questions. I think it's time for a pointed lesson."

Leia looked on the screen. She started to feel horror. "What are you doing?"

"Well, the Emperor has given me wide latitude in dealing with your little rebellion. I think an example …"

Suddenly there was a call. "Sir!"

Tarkin, annoyed, turned to the man. "What?" Didn't these people see he was busy?

"There's a freighter in front of us and it's hailing us – Video and Audio."

"Deal with it."

"Um. Sir? It's above my pay grade."

Tarkin motioned the guards to pull Organa back.

"Fine. Put it on the screen."

In front of them, on the large screen, was a man with green eyes and a serious look. "Hello. My name is Gary Seven. To whom am I speaking?"

"I am Grand Moff Tarkin, Military Governor of the Outer Rim of the Galactic Empire."

"Impressive. Your name is well known. My employer asks that you leave this system to his … attentions. He has issue with the planet and needs time to take care of these small matters."

Tarkin was annoyed. "And who is your employer?"

The man, Seven, reached out and flipped a switch. On the screen now was someone that scared Tarkin thoroughly – as much as he tried to hide it. The view was switched back, but the corner still held the employer.

"His name, among my people, is not spoken aloud but by a few religious zealots who try to embrace his values according to their interpretation. Others try to avoid them, but of course they do NOT try to offend them."

Seven flipped another switch and the word "Muted" appeared on the small corner. "His name is _Jehovah_." Seven flipped a switch again and the "Muted" disappeared. "I hope you can accept that."

Tarkin was now very agreeable. He had heard rumors of a "Jehovah" – but they were hushed quite quickly. "Of course. Can you describe the issues?"

"Well, the Senator from this planet has some insurrectionist friends on a planet called Dantooine. They've been a nuisance. My employer wanted to deal with the problem at the source." Seven paused. "Perhaps with your considerable resources, you might deal with the planet in question? He only demands that you help us to … acquire this Organa woman so that we may … educate her properly. As little good as that will do her."

Tarkin looked over at the slip of a girl who had long been a thorn in the Empire's side. She appeared to be quite terrified of the image on the screen. Yes. He would allow it – and make sure that the galaxy knew exactly to whom she was given.

It would provide its own lesson.

Tarkin turned back to the screen. "That is acceptable. Land in bay 147 – a tow-beam will guide you. We have the Organa woman and she will be yours. We only ask that she no longer be available to direct the malcontents among her people."

"Oh. You can be certain. She will not be around on this planet. We will … ask … that they show proper respect for those that _properly_ lead them."

The image cut out. Tarkin turned to Vader. "Well. Alderan shall no longer be a problem." He turned to the guards holding the woman. "Deliver her with the Empire's complements."

Leia screamed. "No! You can't!"

Tarkin looked at her with disdain. "You will find that I can."

He then dismissed her from his attentions and turned to his bridge. "As soon as the transport carrying our guest is away, set course for Dantooine. We shall take care of it directly."

* * *

Leia had to be delivered stunned and bound, such was her terror. Harry then directed the Falcon to land on Alderan so that the rest of his money could be gotten.

Harry was curious though. "Won't they just destroy that planet and kill whoever is there?"

GBG gave Harry a very deep look. "It was Leia's Free Will. She had already decided that she would sacrifice Dantooine to save Alderan. It was a good choice. It means millions instead of billions dead. It's not right, and it's not easy, but the scales balance better this way."

GBG turned and started toward his room. He spoke over his shoulder, "Of course, there is the fact that I might have started a rumor in Jabba the Hutt's palace that the Empire would reward those who were in charge at Dantooine. He immediately moved his whole court there as well as calling in every resource he could to take over the place. Many of those that refuse to cooperate are even now using every resource they can to get off the planet and away. And Dantooine happens to be very strong with the Dark Side of the Force – many Jedi who trained there in years past eventually turned."

* * *

Tarkin looked at the planet on the screen. There were a number of ships that he knew had heavy firepower in orbit. A number of ships of poor design were escaping. It was obvious that somehow word had gotten out. The terror was palpable. He casually said to the weapons station commander, "Fire!"


	2. A Meeting on Alderaan

Jabba the Hutt licked his lips as he watched his mercenary forces bomb the planet below. The action was SOOO delicious.

Suddenly, there was a commotion from the side of the room. He snarled to his majordomo, "Find out what that is and take care of it!"

"Of course, Sir!"

Jabba went back to watching the action. His majordomo, unfortunately, interrupted again! "Your Magnificence! There is a very large ship that has just appeared from hyperspace. It is so large that it can only be from the Empire."

Jabba considered this. He wasn't in control yet – his forces had only arrived just a day before! However, he had called in the mercenary forces controlled by not only himself but all of his relatives that he could convince. This caper would see them in control of far more than just the Tatooine system.

"Tell the Imperials that I have claimed this system as its Master – and that I am dealing with some small nuisances but can make time for them. All negotiations regarding Dantooine can be done through me."

"Yes, Sir!"

The majordomo went toward the communications station to arrange for his boss's message to be sent. However, he never made it.

* * *

A fleeing refuge ship saw the attack and watched in horror as their former home was destroyed. Word had to be spread!

* * *

Harry looked at the planet below. Han was calling back, "They need the authorization."

Obi-wan interjected, "Tell them that their Princess is on board and she had brought an old friend to visit her father, Bail Organa."

Very soon the ship was being escorted to a remote location on the planet below.

Harry grinned as he led the group out of the Millennium Falcon. They were met by a squad of rebel soldiers. Upon seeing Leia in the arms of the wookie but unconscious, the soldiers raised their blasters. "What is this?"

They were further stressed when they saw a young man wearing the accoutrements of one of _those_. However, they were savvy enough to know that there would be dire repercussions if he died. So they lowered their arms – a little.

Harry just said, "She was a bit overly excited when we retrieved her – but I can wake her up." He pulled his wand out and cast a non-verbal _rennervate_.

Leia awoke with a headache, wondering where she was. She opened her eyes to see the shaggy face of Chewbacca staring at her. Her immediate response was to scream.

Before she could do that, a voice called out, "Welcome back to Alderaan!"

She stopped her scream and looked around. It looked like Alderaan. It smelled like Alderaan. She noticed that the wookie was dropping her legs to allow her to stand.

It took a moment for her to gather her strength and stand alone. "What in the name of the force happened? Where are Tarkin and Vader?"

The same voice said, "We kind of sent them off to the other side of the galaxy to an abandoned base on Dantooine."

She looked at the teenager from _that_ planet and asked, "What are you doing here? Your people are known galaxy-wide for certain … predilections."

Gothboy God shrugged his shoulders with a slight smirk. "Hanging out with Harry. He does jobs for me from time to time."

Leia looked and saw the man being talked about. He gave a small wave. "Hello! We need to talk."

* * *

The room was filled with rebel leaders from around Alderaan, including Bail Organa. Also in the meeting were the people who came on the Millennium Falcon.

Harry started it off. "So! I happened to be coming this way and my boss over there suggested I help these two," he pointed toward, "get off-planet when they got ditched on Tatooine."

One of the rebel leaders had a question which needed to be asked. "What exactly do you _do_ for him?"

Harry shrugged. "Help out in various places I visit to make sure that certain people are given aid. Mostly to prevent unnecessary war or suffering."

Most people in the room were shocked. "How can it be?" the rebel leader asked. "His people are well known for their … activities!"

Harry paused and then grinned. "I think you all misunderstand. He's not from this galaxy – in fact, neither am I. We happen to be from parts distant in time and space. We come from the same planet. Among our people, teenagers dress like that to shock adults and try to protest the social norms."

Leia looked with complete surprise at Gothboy God. "Do you know what you _look_ like?"

Gothboy God only smirked.

Harry chuckled. "Truthfully, he's probably – not probably, IS – the absolute best entity you could have on your side: Kind of a hands-off kind of guy, but spot on with advice and directions when he gets involved."

Obi-wan noticed something. "Why do you call him an 'entity' rather than a person?"

Harry looked over at the Goth. God shook his head slightly. Harry turned back. "A long story and not really relevant."

Bail Organa looked at the people who had arrived and said, "That's all fine – but we need to make plans."

Harry sighed. "Well, first we need to get a few things straight. Alderaan is out of the rebel business. The units you have need to move off-planet and you need to appear to be toeing the line. _His_ advice barely saved your planet and I promised the man that we would 'Ensure that you followed those that properly led you'. It doesn't mean capitulation, but it has to _appear_ that way. Otherwise … that Tarkin idiot will be back with Tall-Dark-and-Metallic and Alderaan … will … be … _gone_."

Another rebel leader scoffed. "It's not as though they could destroy the planet in one shot!"

Bail shook his head. "It's exactly what he means. I got word just before this meeting: Dantooine is gone. _Destroyed._ One shot."

The atmosphere changed. It now appeared to be almost like a morgue. The rebel leader that had scoffed angrily asked, "So what can we do in the face of that?"

Harry looked around. "Boy, you people are kind of fatalistic. The whole POINT of saving the droids is that they have the info on the station. Its weaknesses too. With the right shot … even the mightiest can fall. I should tell you the story of David and Goliath."

The conversations lasted a few more hours. When it was done, Harry took care of one more thing that his boss had suggested.

"Okay! We need to speak to his Excellence about a private matter."

When the others looked, Bail nodded in agreement. The other leaders made their way out to evacuate Alderaan.

Harry finally looked at the people in the room. "A certain truth needs to be shown the light." He pointedly looked at Bail and Obi-wan.

There was immediate protest. "No! This isn't the time!" Obi-wan yelled. Bail was agreeing with him.

Harry looked at the two men with complete seriousness. "I grew up with a manipulative old man who tried to control what I learned because 'it was for the greater good.' Ignore the plans you've made and the talks you've had and _feel_. What does the force tell you?"

Han, who was the most objective, asked, "What's this about? And why am I here? I mean – I got paid and I appreciate that. But I have more credits to make to take care of a certain debt!"

Harry turned and looked enquiringly at GBG. He smirked and nodded. Harry turned to Solo. "Eh. Some news for you: Your former employer met with a certain accident when his forces were trying to take over Dantooine – the product of a certain rumour my boss started. Your debt is … well, it's not relevant."

Han and Chewie looked at each other in shock. Jabba wasn't a problem anymore!

"Besides, I can say with a certain amount of certainty that your involvement is critical. And you'll be much happier if you stick around."

Han looked skeptical. At his look, Leia murmured, "Scruffy Nerf-herder."

Harry grinned as the two bickered. He finally looked back at Obi-wan and Organa. Obi-wan sighed as he nodded. Organa looked pained.

"Okay. So, Leia. Were you aware that you are adopted?"

Leia nodded. "Yes. My father told me ages ago."

"Do you know who your parents were?"

She shook her head. "I was told it was too dangerous."

Harry shrugged. "It was likely true – but the time of hiding is coming to an end. You ARE, by the way, a born princess – not just adopted."

Leia was shocked. "How?"

"Your mother was the former Queen of Naboo."

She looked pained. "Naboo? Naboo was represented by Palpatine – who took the name of Emperor."

Harry sighed. "I know. Before that, however, your mother was Queen – at a younger age than you are now. Her giving up that to become the Naboo Senator was part of his plan. He needed to be Supreme Chancellor. Of course, he manipulated her husband into joining him."

Bail tried to protest again but Obi-wan quieted him by putting his hand on Organa's arm. When Bail looked over, Obi-wan shook his head. Bail sighed.

"Who was her husband?"

"You father. A Jedi Knight. He was turned by the Sith Lord Darth Sidious."

She looked shocked. "Is he still alive?"

Harry nodded solemnly.

"Is it Darth Vader?"

Harry nodded again. Leia looked horrified. After a moment to allow her to grieve, Harry said, "And there was another thing hidden. You were separated from your twin because the two of you would be far too tempting."

Leia looked shocked. "My twin? I have a brother?"

"Yep."

"Do I know him?"

"Kind of."

"Who is it?"

Harry looked around the room. "Perhaps it would be clear if I said what your father's name was before he was turned."

Leia was impatient. "Tell me!"

He looked directly at Luke when he said, "Anakin Skywalker."

There was a moment of shocked silence. And then there were two nineteen year olds providing quite the ruckus. Bail and Obi-wan looked very remorseful.

"You said Darth killed my father!"

Harry got their attention with a concussive blast. When two soldiers rushed in, Bail waved them back out.

"It's kind of true. Palpatine used trickery to convince him that he was killed his wife when he was being manipulated into embracing the dark side of the Force. He doesn't know you two are alive … or that his wife died because Palpatine prevented her healing when it was still possible. Even if Vader learned you were alive now – it would take herculean efforts to get him out of it. He could be saved," and here he turned and looked at Obi-wan with some annoyance, "but only if certain old men don't convince to kill him."

Luke and Leia were appalled. Obi-wan looked guilty.

Gothboy God, who had been observing quietly, volunteered, "Those that experienced the betrayal are too blinded by their experience to even conceive of the possibility that they've been blinded. In a way, you DO have to kill Darth Vader. But Anakin Skywalker can be reborn from the ashes."

Everyone looked at Gothboy God, who was sporting his Emo look. Harry said, "Redemption is a big thing with him. And he's usually right."

Most in the room were curious as to exactly WHO this was.

Gothboy God stood and walked to the door. He waved as he passed out of the room.

Bail hit a button on his desk. "Keep an eye on the man who just left the conference room."

A voice reported back through the communications device, "Sir? No one has come out!"

Everyone looked confused. Obi-wan and Bail rushed to the door and looked. The guards were looking back.

They all turned to Harry. Harry grinned. "There is a reason I called him an 'entity'."


	3. The Final Bit I Wrote

Grand Moff Tarkin peered out of the viewscreens, contemplating what his next step should be. Privately, he was feeling rather annoyed at Vader's constant criticism as to how he was handling the current situation.

He was interrupted by a strident voice.

"Sir! Sir!"

With some irritation, he turned to find one of the communication specialists making his way forward with a datapad. "What is it?"

"Sir! Reports from operatives at Alderaan have come through!" The flunky presented the datapad.

Tarkin took it and started scanning the reports. With a grim smile he handed the datapad back. "Send this to the Emperor with my complements. Ensure Lord Vader also receives a copy – after it is sent."

The specialist snapped to attention and relied, "Yes, Sir!" Tarkin waved him off.

* * *

Han Solo was having fun. He and Chewbacca had taken on the job of ferrying Harry, the kid Luke, the old fossil, and the two droids to the rebel base at Yavin IV. He was being paid a decent amount … completely under the table of course.

Joining them on the Falcon was the biggest pain in the ass he had ever encountered: Leia Organa, (nominally exiled) Princess of Alderaan.

Bail Organa had been convinced to allow for a bit of drama: The "Proper Authorities" of Alderaan were seen to have evicted several rebel leaders and a number of Rebel ships had been "attacked" by the planetary defense force.

That no one actually died in this action was not broadly disseminated to the population. Only a few higher ups were aware of the charade.

A heartfelt prerecorded message from Bail Organa had been played to the population at large, telling them, although Alderaan was now firmly in line with the Empire, he was taking exile to ensure that the Republic would be returned to its citizens.

A flashy and noisy battle of retreat had firmly convinced the Empire's spies that it was real. The Empire didn't always employ the brightest minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was as far as my muse went. If anyone else wants to write the humor/parody version -- have fun. You don't even have to ask. Just take it if you want it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is only a few chapters for humors sake. Don't take it too seriously.


End file.
